A conversation with the most annoying person I've met in recent history.

I headed out to the bars for a few last night. I had heard of a bar that sounded more like a place I would hang out at back home. Quieter/smaller, no dancing/dj, lots of live music, no bouncers...awesome!

I met up with some friends down there and it was really a pretty nifty place. Shortly after arrival, one of the females in my group said "OH NO!" and hid behind me.

"What's wrong?" I inquired.

"It's that guy over there. The tall guy? Glasses, in his mid thirties?" I sneak a glance over my shoulder to observe the nerd leaning against a pole by himself. "Every time I come here, he seems to be here, and if he sees me, he won't leave me alone for the rest of the night. I have no idea who he is or if we were actually ever introduced."

"Well, then...perhaps I should move aside and just let him see you!"

"You can if you like, but then you're going to have to hang out with him too!"

She couldn't have been more correct, and I could not have been more furious. As the night moved on, he happened to catch sight of her and came over to talk to her. It was just the three of us and painfully awkward when he was around, but he made no attempts to move away, even after not being introduced to me. He asked her to buy him a drink (?!) and she grudgingly obliged, too polite to say no. I followed her to the bar, not willing to stand around with wet rag.

The night goes on, blah, blah, blah, there's a point where he comes over again, after we had lost him for awhile. She ducks into the bathroom, I am stunned and unable to follow. This is where the funny happens. I never make eye contact with him and answer shortly and bluntly to all of his questions, giving off the best impression that I am not interested in talking to him in any measure.

"Is it true that one-third of Americans don't know where Canada is?"

"Nope."

"So, where in the states are you from?"

"Wisconsin".

"Oh, what's the capitol of that? Wait, let me guess!"

"..."

"St.....St....Saint something....Is it St. Petersburg?"

"That's in Russia."

"Oh. I used to be really good with states. It's been years but I bet I still know most of them! Go ahead, quiz me!"

"Do you know Rhode Island?"

"Ah, yes, is the capital Pennsylvania?

"Not even close. How about Arizona?"

"Sacremento"

"At least that one's a city. North Dakota."

"I've no idea. Rhode Island...that's right near Massachusetts, right?"

"More or less."

"and going down the coast, you have Massachusetts, North Virginia, South Virginia, uhm, Florida...Atlanta"

"I'm going to stop you there. You're oh for about 12 right now. Why don't you stand over there for a bit?"